Testing and a Self-fulfilling Prophecy

 As teachers, testing is something that is always on our minds. How will my students perform? Did they fall below, meet or exceed benchmark? Will the goals we set be attained? These questions and many more come to mind when thinking about testing as a teacher, but students at all levels of schooling usually just have one…..WILL I PERFORM WELL ENOUGH? I know that in elementary school and even middle school many students may not worry, I didn’t at these levels, but at the high school level reality begins to set in that, at least in the academic world, your lifeblood is performance on tests.

              
 Personally, even as an educator, I’m not a fan of standardized testing. Why, you may ask? Because I know how it feels not to perform as well as you expect and I know that these tests don’t test or show every level of intelligence. As a high school student I took the ACT three times before I just accepted the scores that I obtained. Yes, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree and yes, I will have my master’s in four short months but testing has always been an issue of mine.  

When I graduated with my undergrad I went to take my GRE, but remembering my poor performance on the ACT I found myself agonizing over the thought of testing. I stressed about it every day, I studied every night. Finally, the day came to take it, I tried to give myself enough time to get down to the testing site (which, of course, was two hours away), but what happened? TRAFFIC! Then I parked on the wrong side of campus and wound up walking half of a mile in the 95 degree heat. By the time I got to the testing center I was 15 minutes late, but thankfully they allowed me to test. While taking my test my computer shut off not once, but twice! After all of the stress and anxiety about taking the test, in combination with my series of unfortunate events, I could barely concentrate on the content. There’s a saying I saw somewhere “a negative mind will never give you a positive life.” Well I don’t have a negative mind in all aspects of life, but when it came to this test I think I set myself up for failure. The negative energy that I exuded because of my previous performance on tests made me enter into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. I know I couldn’t really control everything else that happened that day, but I definitely could have had a better mind set! Let me tell you, when I saw my score after everything I had been through to get to that test I just cried. I called my parents, disappointed in myself, and cried like a giant 22 year old baby! They consoled me, told me I was smart and that a test couldn’t tell me my intelligence or worth, but nothing they said could make it better. All of this testing really did mess with my head and throughout my life I’ve second guessed myself a lot because of it. THIS is why I’m not a fan of testing, it makes students who are intelligent and capable, second guess themselves and think they are less than.

Let me tell you, I’m still not a fan, but as a future teacher I had to take the Praxis exams. The anxiety set in again, I studied harder than I ever have, and prepared myself for taking them all again. This time, though, I told myself it was okay if I had to retest, I would just try again if I needed too. Guess what happened! I passed with flying colors!!!! I think this time, because I told myself even if I didn’t pass the first time I knew I eventually would, I gave myself the littlest bit of confidence I needed to do well. I know it doesn’t sound like much but just saying I will try until I eventually get it left me entering the test center with more confidence and less anxiety. So, what’s the point to this whole thing? Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, believe in yourself, and try your hardest to accomplish your goals! For the love of goodness SET GOALS! I couldn’t imagine traveling through life without them. I love the idea of attaining a goal and I always set a new one shortly thereafter, it feeds me and I feel like it gives me purpose. I hope this provides some                 motivation and hope for those who have a hurdle in life that presents difficulty. As the old adage from William Hickson goes, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!


Clip Art Credits
"Success in life...." http://capitalsqua.re/blog-posts/2014/12/16/6-successful-entrepreneurs-who-failed
"If at first you don't succeed..." http://www.blogging4jobs.com/life-2/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed-try-try-try-again/#yLeOvo7SpFzy6ciu.97
"A negative minds....."https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/35/d6/d5/35d6d58f2d4638654bca352a5f6b57be.jpg