
As teachers, testing is something that is always on our
minds. How will my students perform? Did they fall below, meet or exceed
benchmark? Will the goals we set be attained? These questions and many more
come to mind when thinking about testing as a teacher, but students at all
levels of schooling usually just have one…..WILL I PERFORM WELL ENOUGH? I know
that in elementary school and even middle school many students may not worry, I
didn’t at these levels, but at the high school level reality begins to set in
that, at least in the academic world, your lifeblood is performance on tests.
Personally,
even as an educator, I’m not a fan of standardized testing. Why, you may ask?
Because I know how it feels not to perform as well as you expect and I know
that these tests don’t test or show every level of intelligence. As a high
school student I took the ACT three times before I just accepted the scores
that I obtained. Yes, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree and yes, I will have
my master’s in four short months but testing has always been an issue of mine.

When I
graduated with my undergrad I went to take my GRE, but remembering my poor
performance on the ACT I found myself agonizing over the thought of testing. I
stressed about it every day, I studied every night. Finally, the day came to
take it, I tried to give myself enough time to get down to the testing site
(which, of course, was two hours away), but what happened? TRAFFIC! Then I parked
on the wrong side of campus and wound up walking half of a mile in the 95
degree heat. By the time I got to the testing center I was 15 minutes late, but
thankfully they allowed me to test. While taking my test my computer shut off
not once, but twice! After all of the stress and anxiety about taking the test,
in combination with my series of unfortunate events, I could barely concentrate
on the content. There’s a saying I saw somewhere “a negative mind will never give
you a positive life.” Well I don’t have a negative mind in all aspects of life,
but when it came to this test I think I set myself up for failure. The negative
energy that I exuded because of my previous performance on tests made me enter
into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. I know I couldn’t really control
everything else that happened that day, but I definitely could have had a
better mind set! Let me tell you, when I saw my score after everything I had
been through to get to that test I just cried. I called my parents,
disappointed in myself, and cried like a giant 22 year old baby! They consoled
me, told me I was smart and that a test couldn’t tell me my intelligence or
worth, but nothing they said could make it better. All of this testing really
did mess with my head and throughout my life I’ve second guessed myself a lot
because of it. THIS is why I’m not a fan of testing, it makes students who are
intelligent and capable, second guess themselves and think they are less than.
Let me
tell you, I’m still not a fan, but as a future teacher I had to take the Praxis
exams. The anxiety set in again, I studied harder than I ever have, and
prepared myself for taking them all again. This time, though, I told myself it
was okay if I had to retest, I would just try again if I needed too. Guess what
happened! I passed with flying colors!!!! I think this time, because I told
myself even if I didn’t pass the first time I knew I eventually would, I gave
myself the littlest bit of confidence I needed to do well. I know it doesn’t
sound like much but just saying I will try until I eventually get it left me
entering the test center with more confidence and less anxiety. So, what’s the
point to this whole thing? Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, believe in
yourself, and try your hardest to accomplish your goals! For the love of
goodness SET GOALS! I couldn’t imagine traveling through life without them. I
love the idea of attaining a goal and I always set a new one shortly thereafter,
it feeds me and I feel like it gives me purpose. I hope this provides some motivation and hope for those who have a hurdle in life that presents
difficulty. As the old adage from William Hickson goes, if at first you don’t
succeed, try, try again!
Clip Art Credits
"Success in life...." http://capitalsqua.re/blog-posts/2014/12/16/6-successful-entrepreneurs-who-failed
"If at first you don't succeed..." http://www.blogging4jobs.com/life-2/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed-try-try-try-again/#yLeOvo7SpFzy6ciu.97
"A negative minds....."https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/35/d6/d5/35d6d58f2d4638654bca352a5f6b57be.jpg